My lessons from 2023
I write throughout the year, and many posts reflect my learning. (FYI, I love writing).
I will start in reverse chronology with what I learned recently about myself because these are also my new year’s resolutions.
Attitude matters. A lot.
In Q3, I really struggled with relationships on the work front:
I was so close to what I wanted to achieve that that milestone was palpable. However, more than having the right skillset among your employees the right attitude will carry you over the chasm. Setbacks this late in an invested relationship are hard to stomach, but the lesson I learnt was priceless.
I have found that absolutely everyone is dispensable and replaceable. Including me at some point in my business. Period.
Like any endurance sport, entrepreneurship requires small incremental improvements every single day. Period.
I cut my teeth in Mergers & Acquisitions, where work was project driven. It was constant adrenaline and high performance when you were on the job and then bouts of recovery when I did nothing.
That’s how I work: I can consistently put in long hours for months and then do nothing for a month.
This is the antithesis of how entrepreneurship works.
The return on investment only comes when you make small incremental net gains every single day. You have to turn up and do the boring and exciting stuff every day.
This is non-negotiable and requires an entirely different way of living and working.
I have learned this lesson the very hard way: at the start of 2022, I barely had any grey hair, but now I have more than my older brother. I am exhausted and overweight.
My new year’s resolution is to be kinder to myself by putting my health back on track. Something that I have absolutely never had to do.
The only investment worth making is yourself.
Of course, monetary investments are essential, but the only investment you must consistently invest in is yourself.
That means if you decide to learn a new skill, you better learn that skill and consistently get better at it. Set realistic goals of what you want to achieve personally and then nail them.
The narrative you use to speak to yourself is the most important thing you can do with your time and energy.
In entrepreneurship, there is no room to feel sorry for yourself, be miserable, or talk your goals or expectations down. Of course, you should be solving a problem, BUT at the end of the day, your internal dialogue with yourself is critical to your success. There are rarely second changes so getting it right the first time is a good-call.
Feeding that dialogue with constant self-review and positivity is my challenge for 2023.
Setting expectations to zero
As a person, I have grown to be more empathetic over the past decade. Sometimes I think I feel everything, which is an indication that I am overwhelmed.
This instinct to reach out and help everyone is exhausting and my Achilles Heel.
My solution is personal and appeals to my emotional intelligence and so bear with my long-winded explanation.
As I age, my life is full of everyone I need. It truly is and there is little space for newbies.
If I now decide someone can be part of my life, its 100% my decision, they are on parole for at least 15 years, and only works if I place ZERO expectations on them and myself.
This is ridiculously hard and a natural consequence of this is you see people for who they are.
They may be the smartest and sharpest person in a 100 mile radius: but that’s not the sum total of their personality (even if that’s what they think).
You need to give them a lot of space (which I am terrible at), see their well-hidden vulnerabilities (which may never be visible) and ultimately, accept them for whom they are (which I am great at).
And then, and this is the most important lesson: do nothing.
No one needs to be saved, and ergo, my energy and time are better-utilized elsewhere