I don’t like fashion magazines.
They feed into my deep-seated insecurities, most notably that I am overweight (which I am) and that everything I own indisputably belongs to a museum. Irrespective of the season, I always come away thinking this sweater (that I have in fuschia pink) is a faux pas.
It’s not. This is a great sweater.
Today’s blog…
The April edition of Vogue India has Kareena Kapoor-Khan’s 20 question lightning round and a photoshoot.
She looks incredible.
I like KKK (not the Klan variety), especially in her role as Geet (Jab We Met), a 20 something, female protagonist with an enviable childlike optimism and a discombobulated relation with reality.
I’ll be honest, I expected a lot from her 20 responses. They were not per se boring or excruciatingly painful to read ((like having your teeth removed by a bovine specialist).
No, no, none of that.
They were just bad, bland and lacking.
Like butter chicken, minus the chicken and the butter and the spices.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to put myself in her shoes and answer 10 questions that pertain to me.
Don’t worry, I’m not (as yet) exhibiting clinical narcissism, but if I read another depressing COVID-19 article, I’m either going to find a Japanese samurai sword and euthanise myself or what is more likely, given it is a lockdown, devour a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice-cream.
Here goes…
If I had to self-isolate, I would be…fine. I’d genuinely enjoy the sound of silence.
If I were on a desert island, I would take which 3 things…no added sugar Heinz ketchup, pens and notepads, water purification tablets and solar-powered tablet with endless reading material (that may be more than 3).
If I could choose 5 beauty products I could not live without, they would be…this is such an important question. It’s as if the fate of humanity rests on my shoulders. I could not live without (seriously):
- Ultrasun sunscreen
- Shu Uemura eyelash curlers
- Tom Ford nail varnish (toasted sugar)
- Creed Love in White perfume
- Clinique’s 10% Ascorbic Acid
If I could live without sleeping, I’d spend my nights…reading and learning
If I could wear one label my entire life…Chanel
If I could choose an ideal partner he would be… a cross between Malcolm Gladwell (brain), Akshay Kumar (sheer ambition), Keanu Reeves (work ethic), Matthew McConaughey (face), Henry Cavill (body and age) and Stephen Fry (humour and wit)
If there was one thing I could learn in 5 seconds it would be…how to sing like Adele.
If I could invite a few famous people for a meal my guest list would include … two politicians (either Elizabeth Warren/Barack Obama and Angela Markel), Alia Bhatt, Amitabh Bachchan, Trevor Noah, and the Dalai Llama
If I could change one thing about the work I do it would be…that equal or greater emphasis is placed on the empowerment and enhancement of women through (e.g.) the skills they build or mentorship, rather than just focussing on their outward image. We are not just our bodies.
If I could turn back time, I’d…spend more time with friends and family that are no longer with me.
If I found out that the Matrix was true and Neo was that hot in real life, I would…eat the red pill and go back to being a human battery. I am cool with that.
Good bye!