“What Meghan wants, Meghan gets”

The title of this blog is a partial tweet from Lord Goldsmith, in criticism of Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah. If you are unfamiliar with Lord Goldsmith and you are relying on me to fill in the gaps for you, then I am happy to oblige. Elitist, privileged and immorally wealthy are all adjectives that come to mind when I think of Lord Goldsmith.

I will be honest (when am I not): I have conflicting feelings about H&M’s interview with Oprah. I feel a surge of empathy based on my personal experience. Concurrently, do celebrities (not Britney), like Meghan, deserve an outpouring of sympathy, more than you or I? Notably, the firepower of celebrity (Oprah-H&M) to own the limelight, when we are questioning the capitalistic and individual nature of Western societies weighs heavily on my mind.

In today’s blog, I share food for thought, without drawing any remarkable conclusion.

1) Scenario planning rarely goes to plan when the “human” element is high

In my last serious relationship, I knew my partner had flaws. My risk-assessment was as follows:

What this graph doesn’t do is demonstrate the disproportionate importance that I give to ambition and to be successful beyond imagination.

I am no longer in this relationship, and if I were to make a similar assessment it would be different. “Unspeakably unattractive” and “nothing in common” would be 100% deal-breakers. Being with a partner that you find physically unattractive turns very quickly to unmitigated loathing/hate and repulsion at the earliest disagreement. Having nothing in common, compounds your unfavourable perception of the person.

I now know this assessment is so brutally flawed, because his bat-sh*t crazy and criminally insane family are non-negotiable dealbreakers.

What does this have to do with Meghan?

It beggars belief that Meghan didn’t do a similar exercise before she married Harry. The main difference is that the Royal family has a long-standing history of the mistreatment of women.   

Whether its Princess Di, Camilla or Kate, all of these women have been treated like the gum on the sole of your shoes by the Royal family and the British tabloid.

Why would Meghan Markle think that she would be different AND that her race would not be used against her?

Even if she imagined all these scenarios, when you are in a hailstorm of shit, I will be the first to admit, that this does take a toll on your mental health and it clearly did with Meghan.

My friend and I were discussing this earlier in the week: Meghan is a celebrity actress and why does she not have thicker skin? The invasive nature of the British tabloid was probably new to Meghan, but the limelight was not.

2) Sympathy for racial discrimination

I am never going to dispute her claims of racial discrimination and the mental health issues that she went through. Feeling alone and unloved to the extent that you want to take your life, is a feeling that many of my female friends have felt at some point in their life. I empathise with her pain.

But I have been subject to “minor” incidences of racism throughout my life and this is the cost of being human.

Just because we aspire to be in a society that has no racism or bias or discrimination, does not mean we do not develop a thick skin when the illogicality of racism rears its ugly head.

African-American parents may want a non-violent society for their children to grow-up in, but that does not stop them from teaching their kids how to protect themselves against a biased system.

The Royal Family is the most archaic institution/family and I don’t expect it to NOT be racist. The very foundation of the modern Royal Family includes colonization and wealth derived from slavery.

Why did Meghan think that the Royal Family had a separate red carpet for her that WAS not soaked in the blood of slavery and racism? It makes no sense.

3) Sympathy is a finite quantity

As soon Meghan complained about her son NOT being made a prince, I kind of lost 80% of my sympathy for her. It sounds as if she wants to be a Royal when it suits her, but not be a Royal, when it doesn’t suit her.

And I am sorry, but if one of your criticisms of the Royal Family is that they don’t want any new princes, then this really is a case of pot calling kettle black.

These are white privilege problems and have NOTHING to do with the plight of African-American women OR the serious mental health issues, that (eg) ordinary folk face as a result of 12 months of living with COVID.

Closing

As a person of colour, it is difficult to criticise other women of colour who have experienced racism.

However, Meghan is simply riding on the coat-tails of African-American suffering and indignity.

All she has done is highlight how out of date the Royal Family.

She does not appear to have done ounce of legitimate service to the causes of mental health or the fate of women of colour across the globe as result of this interview.

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