I am British-Indian. I am so proud of my British education and the privilege of having lived and worked there. I know if Britain makes it through the coronavirus outbreak/pandemic/epidemic, it will be because of the state funded National Health Service and the British resolve to still queue and be cool as James Bond under fire. The Indian half of my personality is supremely proud of my Bihari heritage. I love the inimitable energy of Delhi, the high standards of Indian-Chinese food and the fashion. I love how Indians abroad work hard, embracing and becoming pillars of the communities they are in.
Now for the hard part….
Brexit, Hindu-Muslim riots, Kashmir and anti-immigrant sentiment especially in the UK, are all words that have left me with a deep sense of disillusionment.
This is a new feeling for me (or maybe I am just recognising it now…?)
I don’t care about the vote bank politics in India and I am viscerally offended by the weaponisation of my religion, Hinduism.
It beggars belief that Hinduism is being hijacked by a bunch of thugs and fascists, who just to be clear equate women to dogs. My religion faces an existential crisis and no-one wants to talk about it. No one wants to separate the politics of the moment and the fact that butchering others is inconsistent with Hinduism because of (e.g.) what they eat.
And I am sorry, when minorities are being slaughtered in your backyard, it does not matter who started it, who finished it and what you were defending. All that the world sees and acknowledges is a big bully beating its smaller, weaker sibling.
I desperately want to hear what it means to be Hindu from other Hindus, but whom do I ask?
I’m going to end this discussion with how I practice my faith.
On a good day, I may sit down and pray. At different points throughout the day I will think of God or pray. I don’t go to a temple and frankly in my heart, it is better to be kind, humane, hard working and committed to my duty then to perform a single ritual. I do believe in Hindu gods and goddesses and I also believe that they are not here to make my pain easier. I am here to learn a lesson or two before I move up/down my path of self-realisation. I am pretty sure God forgets me every now and then. Having this level of doubt is acceptable to me as a Hindu.
That’s it.
Photo by Rodolfo Clix from Pexels
1 thought on “I need to accept that I cannot perform miracles”
I hear you!! I feel the same pain too. And like you, I recognize that I cannot perform miracles. But I can take small action in my community. By saying no. And yes!
Thanks for this heartfelt post!!